Celebrating personal discordia and spiritual anarchy.

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"Anarchy is not intended to be sustainable. It is not a system of government, a codified list of rules and beliefs, or a mind set geared toward cultural constructivism. It is a spark, a flash, a small flame that ignites a paradigm-obliterating explosion. It is destructive by nature. It lies dormant and, like diesel fuel, can only be ignited by tremendous pressure. It deconstructs. It strips flesh from bone and grinds bone to dust. It is doomed to consumption in the conflagration instigated by its own primal spark. It is a catalyst. It is tinder. It is powder and fuse."

Rich Oliver

Feminists Behaving Badly

I argue that those inborn genetic aspects of manliness that predispose us for aggression, boorishness and a drive to procreate also drive us to become good providers and protectors of those we love.

These awful, awful drives make it easier for us to sit through multiple viewings of "The Notebook" and "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood", host Mary Kay parties, stand as assistant purse holders on extended perfect-boot excursions, double date with your best friend and her boring-to-absolute-tears sports fanatic fiancĂ©, stop every thirty minutes for a pee break on a twelve hour drive while enduring the overpowering smell of nail polish within a closed vehicle, keep alert during rambling who-said-who-to-who-and-why discourses, find a quiet, happy center in a world colored by monthly mood swings aimed to blame even the slightest hint of impropriety squarely at our heads in the form of a flying Jane Austin novel, walk the line between liking your friends and appearing to like them too much, answer questions based on sensitivity to situational perception as opposed to absolutes, staying calm while you are responding to urgent “OMG this date is a total nightmare” texts from your friends while actively engaging in our rare, scheduled monthly “adult fun night”, find Zen while looking at banged up fenders and calmly watching high speed multitasking from the passenger seat....

That's a short list. As much as you want to hate it, you need some of that in your lives. We are like dogs, sure, but dogs are loyal and don't require a lot of maintenance. We need food, love and a place to sleep. We need to be scratched between our ears from time to time. When we are happy, we will fight for you. We will break our bodies and minds to provide for you and we will die for you if you ask it of us. We are built that way on purpose because we are, sadly, kinda disposable. We aren’t that bad. Really. I promise.

The infidelity part is a bit more complicated unless viewed from a purely simian viewpoint. We are monkeys, albeit slightly more evolved, and our social structure is pretty much similar. Infidelity stems from boredom and lack of connection on an emotional level. For men, sadly, that often equates to the physical aspects of a relationship. For women, emotional and safety / security issues are often the precursor.
If sex and intimacy stop in marriage, eyes wander toward availability. If security and safety are compromised, hearts and minds reach for more sure prospects. That is simplified and can manifest in many complex ways within the relationship dynamic.
But we are still monkeys and we still have inherent drives and traits that evolved to ensure the survival of our species. An awareness of the unique makeup of male and female, and a sentient approach to accommodating this intrinsic makeup within modern, acceptable social norms will go a long way toward alleviating the perceived differences in our sexes. We are not the same, but we are obligated to ensure that we are treated as equals and are respected as such.

This is no excuse for violations of your rights or illegal/ irresponsible behavior. Look at that little boy you are raising and imagine him as a grown adult. How do you want him to be treated? How will you train him to treat his future spouse? He isn’t evil or stupid or a waste of genetic material. He is a person that loves, hurts, fears and hopes…just like you.

Some of you are damn lucky we aren’t more evolved. I’m just sayin. Some of you devout feminist need a swift kick in the pants if you think that emasculating a man makes him a good feminist. Feminism is about equality and respect, not creating a single sex/gender. I am a feminist and I am a boorish, opinionated, hot blood, randy, hairy, focused, passionate man. I say stupid things and I do stupid stuff from time to time. So do you, I’m sure.

Its equality we are striving for as feminists, not castration. Remember that.