Celebrating personal discordia and spiritual anarchy.

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"Anarchy is not intended to be sustainable. It is not a system of government, a codified list of rules and beliefs, or a mind set geared toward cultural constructivism. It is a spark, a flash, a small flame that ignites a paradigm-obliterating explosion. It is destructive by nature. It lies dormant and, like diesel fuel, can only be ignited by tremendous pressure. It deconstructs. It strips flesh from bone and grinds bone to dust. It is doomed to consumption in the conflagration instigated by its own primal spark. It is a catalyst. It is tinder. It is powder and fuse."

Rich Oliver

Situational Schizophrenia

I'm fine, really. I clean my house, pay bills, go to work, cook, pay taxes (not really) and maintain a normal, scheduled life. I shower, brush my teeth, wear clean clothing and appear fairly normal and grounded. Generally I am quite simple, I prefer clean, somewhat reserved surroundings and furnishings. I eat simply. Moderation is my mantra for most things. I don't drink much. I don't smoke anymore. I walk thirty minutes a day and work out three to four times a week... I'm emotionally stable (actually boring if you ask a few exes). So......
Why am I channeling Amy Winehouse? Why did I pay rent late this month incurring a $75 late fee (I have not paid rent late since 2006), walking around on a sprained foot gorked on pain killers, forgetting to show up for a scheduled shift at work, tearing my co workers a new one when they approached me oddly about a shift change, sleeping till noon, allowing my dishes and wash to pile up, not going to bed until 3 AM or skipping sleep all together for days, drinking nothing but coffee for days on end then devouring entire stores of ding dongs and cheese whiz, sending sexually inappropriate emails, writing rambling, Manson-like letters on the back of Jiffy Lube receipts and delivering them after midnight, and acting generally erratic and altogether nucking futz? Maybe I have a lesion on my temporal lobe. Maybe I am chemically imbalanced. Maybe I am experiencing early early early onset dementia. Maybe I am in love.

In the case of the first three possible causes, I would hope to seek professional help in controlling or eliminating the condition. In the latter, I hope I never recover.