Exhale. Sit. Regret. Wonder.
Why did I do that? What was I needing to prove? Sabotage? Fear? Ego? Id? WTF?
I am not like that, why now when I have found what I have been looking for most of my life?
Am I that desperate to throw it all away? I am not this way. I have never been this way.
I hope I didn't fuck it all up.